Together We'll Ring in the New Year
by niko5290
Summary: A little angsty, Quinn-centric, sprinkling of Faberry, with songs as different themes to each chapter.
1. Motion City Soundtrack

Yeah, it sucked Shelby shut her down so effortlessy. Yeah, it sucked to see Puck hold her baby girl. Yeah, it sucked she still can't be _perfect_ enough to try to get some kind of happiness in her life.

So much for starting off the new year off right.

_Stop punishing yourself for the things you did as a child._ Shelby's words still ring in her ears, even over the pounding rain and slight wheeze of her breath. She could start somewhere, but what sin can she try to forgive herself for committing?

Suddenly, the rain's patter sounds muffled, and is not longer beating against her. She glances up and a light blue extra-large umbrella over her head and slightly tilted. She drops her head and looks to her left, and one of her biggest sins is sitting next to her. She goes to open her mouth, but nothing comes out.

Rachel smiles and wipes the rain drops -maybe tears, she can't care anymore- off her cheek. Rachel's left hand grips the handle a little tighter, "I know you're not ready to let anyone in right now, but please let keep you a little company. I can't cadone the smoking, but I refuse to go home knowing you were sitting here in the rain. So, until it let's up a little, can I sit here?"

Her hazel eyes drop to Rachel's hand, slightly pink, then back up to her chocolate brown eyes, and offers a half-smile. She nods and makes sure to keep her still lit cigarette away from Rachel. Rachel's smile grows a bit as she slips her right arm through her left and huddles close.

No matter the look on the veneer, the attempt at perfection, she never is truly smiling under it. However, when Rachel is around, the veneer breaks and her true self is seen through the cracks. Be it tears, advice, comfort, or even a smile. Maybe, just maybe, she can forgive herself the sin she knows Rachel had forgiven long ago. Maybe the newest sin she could learn to forgive and learn to accept about herself.

This must be it, welcome to the new year, Quinn Fabray.


	2. Florence and the Machine

Quinn decides that she'll go ahead with Shelby's plan; forgive herself. However, she likes this look, she feels comfortable. Quinn keeps the jeans, worn out Chucks, tee-shirts and zip up hoodies. She re-dyes her hair, keeping a strip of pink; starting at the right of her bangs and end at the nape of her neck. With the cooler weather, the beanies stay out and about. The good little Christian girl just reminds her too much of her sins.

Hell, if Puck can keep that dead animal of a mowhawk on his head, she can be comfortable. She fell back against her bed, her iPod softly playing Florence and the Machine in the background. She briefly thought about getting the baby girl back, but honestly, what was she going to prove? Just another teen mom in Lima. Just another notch in the statistics. Quinn sighed. Beth was in a good home, with a reasonably good woman; right? Why would she want to bring that angel into a broken home with a emotionally unstable teenager and recovering alcoholic mother?

She rubbed her hands over her face. How can Puck be able to do this and she can't. Why can't she just get her feet on the ground and just feel like a person?

_KNOCK, KNOCK!_ Quinn sits up and her one eyebrow lifts. She looks over at her alarm clock, _6:45_ in florescent green lights. She shrugs on the black zip-up and grabs a beanie before heading down stairs. Her mother isn't around, Saturday nights she usually isn't seen until Sunday afternoon; church a distant memory. Quinn peers out the peephole anda familiar drumming noise starts to beat against her skull. It used to be a small, steady beat, but recently, it's been getting louder, louder than sirens and bells. She can't even fight the small smile that works its way to her face.

She opened the door, and Rachel smiled big up at her. "What's up, Berry?"

Rachel nodded and took a deep breath, "Well, you see Quinn, I was at first going for a drive, seeing as it's getting cool to go for my nightly runs, but I still craved to be outside. So, as I'm driving I realize I was only a few blocks away from you, so I thought to stop by, to make sure you didn't get sick from sitting in the rain yesterday afternoon, then as I parked, I realize that I could have very well just texted you or Facebook messaged or even called. As I was knocking I came to the conclusion I really just wanted to see you."

Quinn smiled, maybe this sin will be easy to appease; something sweeter than Heaven cannot be a sin. But the heat rolling over her, hotter than Hell itself, Quinn is convinced, just might be a sin; a delicious, satisfing sin. She can't find herself to care. Forgive and let live, right? "Come on in, Rachel," Quinn stepped to the side to let the girl in. "I'm surprised you look... Normal?" Rachel was wearing a small Wicked hoodie that still look a little baggy on her small frame and dark-denim skinny jeans with black flats.

Rachel threw a saucy wink over her shoulder, "You'd be surprised how normal I can be, Fabray."

Quinn went to say something, but the words died in her throat. She was sure Rachel could hear the drumming; who couldn't? Quinn shook her head and went to close the door. "You hungry?"

Rachel clasped her hands behind her back and twirled and smiled with the most adorable smile Quinn ever saw. Her feet slowly took her to the tiny diva, and before she could stop herself, Quinn brought her hand up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind Rachel's ear. The beating in her head was almost deafening. "We could order take-out. Maybe Thai or something?" Rachel's voice was quiet, as if not to break the silence.

Only it wasn't silent. It was loud, booming, and deafening. And for once, the voices in Quinn's head who tell her to be the perfect little girl are drowned out. For once, Quinn can hear her own desires, loud and clear.

Maybe this what forgiveness sounds like. The drumming beat that plays at max volume when Rachel is around. Maybe Rachel is the beginning. Quinn is glad for the beating drum, it moves her. then everything is silent and tense.

She didn't plan to kiss Rachel. She only wnated to ask for forgivness. However, if the way that Rachel is reacting to the kiss, she knows she's forgiven. As the kiss went from sweet and curious, it turned into passionate and heated, the drumming beat kicking up again, loud enough to almost throw her off Rachel. But the tiny starlet grabs hold of Quinn's hoodie and arches into Quinn's body. Quinn grabbed Rachel's hips pulling her impossibly closer. As the beat slowed in ehr head, so did the kiss untill they broke apart, but not by far. Quinn slowly opened her eyes to see deep brown ones.

"Rach, I..."

"Don't aploogize, and please, please don't run. I want this. I've wanted this for a long time, Quinn. I suspected something was there when you drew those pornographic drawings inthe bathroom. Adn when you told me you didn't hate me, and let my guard around you. I knew I was head over heels for you when we did our duet. Honestly, Quinn, you aren't subtle," Rachel lightly teased, her lips ghosting over Quinn's lips.

Quinn rolled her eyes, was she really that obvious? "Well, what do you suppose we do about it, Berry?" Quinn titled her head, leaning in. A touch. what was it that Miss Holiday said? Everything starts with just a touch.

"I suppose you could order dinner and we continue to _talk_ about this new development in our relationship?" Rachel sneaks her fingers under Quinn's beanie, playing witht he soft pink hair underneath.

Quinn shut her eyes and pressed ehr lips and little harder to Rachel's, a moan escaping both of them. "Just talk? I think I have beeter ideas for your mouth."

Rachel chuckled against Quinn. "If you're a good girl, Q. Now be a good host, and get the Thai menu."

Quinn pulled Rachel closer when the girl tried to move to the couch. Quinn tucked her head down and clung to Rahcel ina tight hug, "You're something else, Rachel Berry." Rachel shrugged and held Quinn. Thai could wait a few more minutes.


	3. Sugarcult

**Daddy's Little Defect**

She fell asleep. She shifts in her bed, blinking away the groggy, fuzzy feeling. Quinn ran her hand down her face and squinted at the clock at her bed side. _5:23 _shone obnoxiously back at her. She turned to see it was still dark out. "Still have some time," she grumbled to herself.

Before sleep falls over her again, memories of the past few of days replay. Seeing Rachel in her Wicked hoodie. The kiss, the forgiveness, Thai food. Spending the weekend and nights after school with the fiesty little diva, evening inviting Santana and Brittany. They laughed over movies, got into a few heated debates about books, and found out about the sides that make up the girls when they aren't at school.

It was a rollercoaster of emotions. Quinn couldn't believe any of it happened. But it did. Her sides burned from laughter, her lips tingled with kisses, and her body ached to be closer to her forgiven sin.

Morning came early for the former cheerleader. As she was pulling on her worn-in red and black Chucks, the house phone rang. Her mother was gone for work already and she had a few minutes to spare.

"Hello?" Quinn answered.

"Quinnie! I'm glad I caught you," Frannie, her sister, replied back way to excited.

"It's good to hear from you, Frannie," Quinn gave a small smile. "You missed mom, she's at work."

"Oh, little sister, I know that. I wanted to talk to you actually.'

Quinn stiffened, "Why?"

"Don't sound so cold. I was just wondering how your senior year is going? Meet any cute boys? Applied to any colleges?"

Quinn sighed. Boys? No, not anymore. She's not going to pretend to be that perfect, straight girl anymore. She's found herself, and she found it in a sinfully-flavored Berry. "I applied to NYU, Yale, and a few others."

"Any favorites?"

Quinn shrugged then rmeembered her sister couldn't see her, "I just want to get out of Lima."

Frannie laughed on the other end, "I hear you, little sis. So breaking any boys' hearts for the last hurrah?"

Quinn cringed, "I'm just focusing on me this year."

The line was silent. Quinn hated it. It was like there was a secret that Frannie knew but couldn't let Quinn know; like when they were younger. Quinn huffed, this little game was wasting time.

"What do you really want to know, Fran?"

"Testy. I see, then what mom's been saying is true. You're still Daddy's Little Defect."

Someone might has well punched her in the gut, that would have been less painful. Quinn wheezed, her eyes went wide, her free hand grasped the granite counter top of her kitchen island. "What did you say?" She tried to sound strong, but it came out a little helpless sounding.

Frannie clicked her tongue. "My little nickname for you. Of course I never said it front of our parents. But, honestly, Quinnie. You're wasting your life hanging out with that Lopez girl and that loudmouth Berry. You won't make anyone proud hanging out with sinners. You'll be left with nothing; again."

Quinn was struck silent. Santana Lopez has been one of her best friends since leaving Lucy behind. Fights, laughs, secrets, they had it all. Plus, with Santana came Brittany, and no one could not love that girl. Rachel has been the start another transformation in Quinn. Something Quinn could not let go. Not again.

"How could you say that? Especially with who you hung out with? You have no room to talk, Francine."

She heard her sister sigh on the other end of the line.

Whatever she was going to say, Quinn cut her off, "Don't make another sound. Your little guilt-trip doesn't work anymore. I have real friends. I'm going to school. And nothing, _nothing_, you say will change who I hang out with. I rather be Daddy's Little Defect than Daddy's Little Perfect Bitch." Quinn hung up and stormed out of her house.

As soon as she saw Rachel near her locker talking to Puck, Quinn made a decision. If her biggest sin could forgive her and _embrace_ her, Quinn will too. She made her way to Rachel, but stopped about of the quarter of the way. Too high on emotions and her mind a fog, Quinn decided to turn around. She went to her locker, felt the slight burn of Rachel's eyes on her but ignored the tingle. She can't handle anything right now.

Conflict was in her eyes when Rachel walked over and gently put her hand on Quinn's shoulder. The taller girl just sighed. A sad smile paired with chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth was the only sign that Quinn wasn't in a good state of mind. When she shut her locker, shouldered her bag, and headed to her first class. Rachel leaned against Quinn's neighbor's locker. Puck stepped over.

"You ok, Jew Babe?"

Rachel tore her eyes from the direction Quinn walked. "I need your assitance. And don't tell Quinn. open her locker."

He rose an eyebrow, but shrugged. After a few minutes, he popped open the mentioned locker. Rachel thanked him, scribbled a quick note, and tacked it to the back of her locker. "Thank you, Noah." She gave him a swift hug before trotting to her class. Puck scratched the tail-end of his mowhawk before shutting Quinn's locker.

Quinn didn't return to her locker until the end of her third class. She twirled the dial before opening her locker. She couldn't retain any information she learned. Francine's words still buzzing about her brain. She almost didn't notice the note with Rachel's cute swirly handwriting that scrawled out _Q._ She reached and took it off the back of her locker. A small smile soon turned into a big grin.

_Waiting for you, if you'll be mine._

_ R._

It's time to go all the way, Daddy's Little Defect.


	4. Yellowcard

**Inside Out**

Quinn smiled at the little note, and kept it tacked up in her locker for the next few days, close to a week before, every time she saw the writing, she'd just feel... Guilty. She has talked to Rachel, slowly explained how she was trying ot let go of the pain and anger of her childhood so Shelby would be ok letting Quinn into Beth's life. Although Quinn could tell Shelby was not happy with her, but the fake sympathy was wearing on the blond. She just can't let her second chance with her daughter end this way.

Rachel noticed Quinn's slow but tragic withdrawl. She was back in glee, but hardly paid attention to the numbers. The blond mentioned she got Rachel's note, a week ago, but made no move to actually ask Rachel out. Kisses were still stolen treasures, hugs were becoming more and more common, and she could almost always find Quinn's hand in her own. The weekend after Rachel left the note, she found herself cuddling on the taller girl's bed, almost all weekend, just watching movies, talking, and finding out more about her little-less-than-platonic friend. But since the day she left that note, Quinn was... stone-like.

However, Rachel made a move she didn't think would cause such a backlash and severe regression in their friendship. "You still coming over today?"

"I don't know if I can."

"Why not?"

"Stuff came up?"

"What stuff?" Rachel pouted a little, but she didn't think Quinn noticed; she was trying to be cute. But Quinn wasn't taking it that way.

"Jesus, Rach. What do you want from me? Can't I just have stuff to do without you knowing?"

Rachel was taken back, and shrank into herself just a bit. Scary Qunn was out, and Rachel forgot how to act around her. "It's not that, I was just.."

"Just what? Nosy? Bossy? I just have something I want to do and you're acting like a controlling girlfriend. Just..." Quinn stopped. What she was saying was slowly catching up to her brain. "Fuck.. Rach.. I'm sor-... I-I'll text you." With that, Quinn turned her back and left. Rachel numbly nodded.

"You didn't even say good-bye," Rachel mumbled after her voice found her, her watery eyes watched Quinn's back walk farther and farther away.

Quinn never texted her.

Quinn was in her room, all thoughts of possibly talking to her mother about what her sister said what seemed like a lifetime ago left her as soon as she saw the heart-broken look in Rachel's eyes. Daddy's Little Defect never rang so true. Quinn let out a shaky breath as she just stared, unfocused, at her ceiling. _Even if I wanted too, I don't think I'd get to you._ Rachel was destined for things. Quinn was... Just that. Was. She was just existing at this point, taking up space, trying to grab hold on something solid, before she was just another forgotten face.

Tears started to fall before she could even feel sad. Rachel was leaving. No matter what. NYADA and New York was calling her. That's where she belonged, not stuck in some midwestern city as a nobody. With a nobody. Who was Quinn kidding? Herself apparently. Maybe if she's lucky, she can call herself Rachel's last regret. One last sad memory before leaving to see her name in lights.

Her forearm rested against her eyes, she could feel her tears soak through her sleeve. _So much for fixing my sins._ She barely registered the front door opening and closing. She could just hear her mother shuffle around downstairs.

"Quinn? Honey, you home?" Her mother called out. Quinn laid on her bed, trying force herself to talk to her mother. She should just do it. Bandaid mentality, right?

Quinn pushed off her bed and tried to fix her running make-up and puffy eyes, "Yeah. Mom. I'll be right down." She misses her phone light up with a text message.

Judy was putting away groceries while humming a tune. Quinn couldn't place it. "How was school, sweetie?"

"The same," Quinn replies. She takes a seat at the island and just watches her mother float through the kitchen. She's envious, jealous even, of her mother. How the woman could just kick her husband out, take a month to find herself, and jump right back into the real world with out missing a step. It made Quinn's stomach turn. How come she couldn't be that graceful as she stumbled through highschool and her own life. Fuck, why can't she have a hold on anything that made her feel alive again?

"You ok?" Her mom stopped her movements to study her daughter. Quinn comes out of her mind to connect eyes with her mother. She opens her mouth, to say anyhting, to give her mother something. It's awkward, it's tense, it's suffocating her. Her arms circle around her own waist, and slowly places her warm forehead to the cool granite of the kitchen island.

"Just... A... Minute... Can't breathe..."

_Why? Because you feel like you're inside out when Rachel isn't near? Feel like your whole world is upside down when you can't see that smile? You get unbelievably jealous when someone _else_ makes her smile. Fuck, Q! Get a hold of yourself._

She feels her mother rub her back as she sucks in shallow puffs of air. Never enough.

"It's ok, baby, just breathe. I'm right here," Her mother's voice soothes the panic somewhat but not immdiately. After a few minutes, Quinn calmed down enough for her mother to push again, "Wanna talk about it?"

"Mom... I... I like someone. At school. But I was a... I was a real bitch to... the person today. I'm scared, and I'm closing up on the only person I shouldn't close up on. I'm trying to make myself better for... For Beth... And this person. I feel like everything is upside down and inside out. I don't know how to get a hold on it anymore. This life, this life I'm in."

Judy waited a few tense moments after Quinn's rushed-out rant. When Quinn just lifted her tear-filled eyes, Judy took her cue, "Honey, no matter what you did or said can always be fixed with a heart-felt apology and simple actions. I'm so proud of you to try to better yourself. For Beth, and for this person. I hope for yourself as well."

Quinn nodded sadly, "But she's leaving, Mom. And I don't think I can follow. I don't want to hold her back." Quinn shifted on the stool and wrapped herself tightly against her mother.

Judy held her confusion in. Quinn needed her support, and when her daughter wasn't distraught, she'll question her about the pronouns. However, right now, Quinn was clinging so tight to her, Judy just ran her hands up and down her back soothingly. "Why can't you follow?"

Quinn just shook her head, air left her lungs in chocked sobs. "I'm just a regret. Daddy's Little Defect."

Judy had nothing to say to her broken daughter. It scared her tremendously. She was silent as her daughter sobbed into her chest.

Upstairs, Quinn's phone lit up. It vibrated a few times before it stopped. _Sorry for missing your call, but leave your name, number, and a message for me, I'll get back to you._

"Quinn, it's Rachel. You have my number. But, please, pick up. I'm not mad at you. I just... Want to help. I meant what I said in that note. I'll wait for you. I just want you to know... You make me feel more alive than anything I've come to care about, Broadway and Barbra withstanding. Please, just... Talk to me?" Rachel hung up. And waited for the phone call or text. The call never came.


End file.
